Only Able To Lose
by Time Lady Evangeline
Summary: Leala had meant so much to the Doctor. She had been so very brilliant, so faithful as his companion. Crosses over with Torchwood quite a bit. OC fic, but give it a chance ;)
1. Chapter 1

**Well, I'm back! Starting to post more, and yes, it's an OC, but before you go: "Ugh, OC? This is ridiculous and boring and I'm going to go find a fanfiction with the normal characters!" (Like I do a lot) Just give it a quick peek, and check out the first two chapters. **

**There is quite a bit of a Torchwood crossover in here, though I didn't intend it at first. Then, ideas just kept coming and coming. You don't have to absolutely have to know the Torchwood characters to enjoy it though. For the next chapter, I'll give you an AU to explain what's needed for readers who haven't watched Torchwood, but I kept it simple by not using a confusing part of the show ;) Okay, no more rambling!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DOCTOR WHO OR TORCHWOOD.**

"Leala, please! Keep your eyes open! Don't leave me!" The Time Lord pleaded, the dying girl in his arms. "Not now, not like this. Leala!"

"Doctor, listen to me. This isn't your fault."

"Leala! Stay with me! It's going to be just fine, just stay with me! Leala!"

"We both know that isn't true, just look at me. I'm not gonna make it out of this one. Funny, I always thought I'd get to stay with you for the rest of my life. Guess that's what happened." She coughed, blood coming from her throat, a steady drop pouring from her mouth. It hurt the Doctor's hearts.

"No, Leala! Don't leave! I need you, with me! It'll all be alright, I promise." He tried to ignore the massive wound in the right of her abdomen. She had been run-through with an alien arm. It was nearing the end, and he knew it.

"You've given me so much to live for, Doctor. Before I met you, my world was dark. It was only me, on my own. You were my life. All these years, with you, they have been more then anyone could ask for. We've seen it all. Thank you for that." She gripped painfully at her wound, crying out in pain.

"But Leala, there's so much more I could show you. Please, hang on for me. If I could get you back to the TARDIS..."

"No Doctor. It's too late, and you know that. I can't believe it's over..."

"It doesn't have to be, please..."

"Hush. If this'll be my last chance to say anything to you, I guess I should tell you... I love you. I always have. If I'd been given more time, I would have been there for you whenever you needed me. Now, Doctor, take care of yourself, for me. Find someone, who will love you, just as I have. Someone who won't leave you. You aren't a burden Doctor, you're a blessing, you make every life you touch a little brighter. I was about to take my own life so long ago in Cardiff, and if you hadn't come right into my life just then, not a second later, I would have gone through with it. Even if I wasn't about to commit suicide that day, I would have died of the cancer. You saved me, don't ever forget that. This isn't your fault, remember that." She cried out in pain again.

"Leala... I'm sorry. I-I love you too. Stay here with me, and we can stay together, forever. Wouldn't you like that?" He begged.

"I would... if only we could have this life for one more day, it would all be perfect. I'm sorry, Doctor." She let herself cry, but only a single tear. She had to be strong for her Doctor. She would be going to a better place, but he'd be left here, and she'd only add to his suffering.

"If I knew this day was coming, I would have taken you on so many more adventures, oh, we would have run all the more faster, saving all the more lives."

"I know. You turned my life around the moment I took your hand, and we laughed and you showed me the TARDIS. We went off on adventure after adventure. Tell Captian Jack what's happened too, and tell him I'll miss him. Seeing as he can't die, I won't be seeing him again."

"You never know. Maybe he has his limits. You'll see us all again, I promise."

"I was the luckiest girl in the world. I loved it when you called me brilliant, and when we had those moments, where you'd look into my eyes, staring down into my very being, and I knew. I knew that was where I was supposed to be, and I knew you were the one. The one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, the one I loved. And when I was given a chance to take care of you, it was the best feeling in the world..." She chuckled lightly, coughing again, trying to force the blood to stay down.

"Leala, you truly are brilliant." She put a finger up to his lips. The end was very close. She could feel it.

"Shhh. Promise me something. Promise me that you'll be alright. That you won't wait hundreds of years to find a new companion. There are plenty of other brilliant people out there." He managed a smile, even through the tears pouring from his eyes. He looked at her beautiful green eyes, still as vibrant and loving as ever, but he could see right through them, despite the fact she was trying desprately to hide her fear. He smiled for her. He didn't want her last image of him to be something she wouldn't want to remember.

"I'll miss you."

"And I you. It's almost time. Doctor, I can see it. The angels. It's not just darkness, there's so much more... and I can see it. You take care of John, you hear?" Hot tears streamed down her face.

He smiled. At least now he knew for sure that she would be safe, and he nodded at her request. "Leala. The name means loyal and faithful. It fits you. I know that you would have followed me, all across the universe, far into your late years, given the chance. When I picked you, I knew you would be more then anyone expected of you. Everyone around you thought you were a lost cause, but I saw past that. This is you, right here. My Leala."

She put a hand on his cheek. "My Doctor. No reserves. No retreats. No regrets." He bent down to her ear, whispering a word. A word that he'd hidden away, long ago. He used to tell companions the word when he was young, once in a long while. She looked up at him, wide-eyed in realization as he bent down and kissed her. She returned it, and he felt her body go limp in his arms as his mouth got the metallic taste of blood. He pulled away and looked at her.

"Thank you Leala. For everything. For being brilliant. For being strong. For being faithful and loyal. For being Leala." He sobbed, rocking her body back and forth, remembering the days he'd had with the wonderful girl. He'd told her his name. It was all he could give her in those last moments, and she deserved it.

**I guess this is more of a prolouge... Anyway, the next chapter starts to explain who she is and how she met the Doctor :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so here's a once-over of the characters in Torchwood: Jack-You know him! Immortal, bla bla bla, but Torchwood shows a much darker side of him, that has lived incredibly long. His friends don't know anything about his past. Gwen-The "mom" of everyone, despite being the newest member. Dark hair, pale skin, dark eyes, Welsh. She cares about them all very much. Ianto-Jack's almost lover, also Welsh. Does the chores, makes the coffee, organizes most adorable man ever. Very reserved to most people, usually keeping himself very refined and buisness-like, bottling up his emotion. Lighter brown hair, brown eyes. Owen-the team's medic. English. Doesn't mind using a few cuss words. (though I toned him down a bit here) Always trying to pry Jack for information about his past. Toshiko[Tosh]-Loves Owen, but hasn't confessed. Brains of the operation, does most of the computer stuff. Japenese.**

****She pulled on her purple hoodie and headed out the door. She was seventeen years old, and was alone. Everyone treated her like she was some sort of diseased freak, and her parents had disowned her. It wasn't her fault she was diagnosed with brain cancer, more specifically, glioblastoma multiforme, the deadliest form. When her parents found out, they refused to help her or pay for any treatments. Today, she'd end it all. She'd be dead within the year anyway.

It was a Saturday evening, and Leala stepped out of the apartment she rented for herself when her parents kicked it out of the house. It was like she was a shadow, invisible to the world. No one took a second glance at her as she made her way to the bridge. She passed the cars, climbing up onto the edge. The overpass looked out over the ocean while the sun set, and she thought it was the last bit of beauty she would ever see. She felt she didn't deserve to see beauty.

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and pulling out her bun. Her black hair blew back against the wind, and a lone tear streamed down her cheek. It was over. "No reserves. No retreats. No regrets." She whispered, arms out, falling forward.

"No!" A voice said from behind her. A firm hand gripped her wrist, and she tried to push away as she hung off the edge, but the person pulled her up. It was a man in a tweed jacket and a bowtie, with a think mess of hair

"What do you want? You can't stop me." She said, trying to throw herself back off. He grabbed her firmly by the wrist.

"You don't want to do this."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Why do you want to kill yourself?"

"There's no reason for me to be here."

"Why not?"

"No friends, even my parents left me."

"Why?" This guy sure liked to ask questions.

"Look, I'm already dying! It doesn't make a difference if I go sooner! I've got cancer," She tapped her head, "it all fell apart after that. No one wants to help me, I might as well stop wasting air!"

"Look down there. Who do you see? Describe them to me."

Hesistantly, she obeyed. "There's...a little boy and his mom, looking in the window of the toy store. A man and a woman-he just proposed, she's nodding, crying. A girl and her dad, buying groceries, she's skipping along. Another little girl, smiling, wearing a baseball cap... she's bald. I think she has.. cancer." The word stung her heart like a piercing arrow.

"Now, all those people, think about their faces. Think about what would happen to the rest of their lives if suddenly, a girl above them, who they didn't even know was there, died right in front of them."

"They wouldn't care. Not one of them. I'd just be another casualty in the long run."

"Look at that little girl, the one who has cancer. She must be barely 9 years old. When she finds out exactly hat happened, how might that affect the rest of her life? She'll always remember the one girl who gave up hope and ended it all. She'll give up. Do you really want that?" Leala's eyes pooled with tears. He was right.

"I-I never thought about that..."

"I didn't think you did." He held out his hand to her. "Come on now, lets get down from here." She nodded as he pulled her along gently.

"Now, come with me. An old friend of mine called, so I'm going that way. I've got a few things to show you."

"Why do you want to help me? Why can't you just let me go die!"

"Because I can't let you do this without knowing of the wonders around you."

"What's the point? You just met me!"

"I see something in you, and it is so incredibly brilliant. Come on now, I don't want to keep my friend waiting, that could be a problem."

He walked up to the sidewalk, just standing there. He pulled her up.

"What are we doing, just standing here?" She looked around, confused. He looked straight at a security camera.

"Come on Jack, I'm waiting!" He walked up to the camera. "Ohh, that's right! New face, Jack. It's me, the Doctor. I believe you called for me?" The lift began to move, and he hopped on as Leala began to panic. "It's alright, Leala, just hold on."

"The ground is moving!"

"Invisible Lift, I think they call it. Leala, this is Torchwood." He said as the hub came into view.

"Doctor!" Jack said excitedly as he saw the man coming down. "So, you've changed again?"

"Yep! Do you like it?"

"Not bad!"

"Captain?" Leala interrupted. He looked at her.

"Leala! Nice to see you again! You know her, Doctor?"

"You told me you were special-ops..." She muttered.

"Just met her, actually. I brought her with me, sorry about that." The Doctor said, answering Jack's question.

"No problem. Are you going to...?"

"I'm thinking about it."

"Well, either way, I've got some Retcon if it becomes necessary."

"Good. Now, come here and give me a hug, you!" They hugged.

"It's great to see you again, Doctor!" Jack saluted to him, and the Doctor returned the gesture.

"The girl there, Leala," The Doctor whispered, "she was about to kill herself. Just thought you should know." By the shocked look Jack gave her, Leala knew what had been said, and she looked at the ground.

"Oh, Leala. You should know you can come to me if you ever need anything." He hugged her tightly before turning to the Doctor. "Thank you, for finding her. I don't know what I'd have done if she'd gone through with it." Leala began to sob, and he held her tightly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She said between sobs.

"It's alright now. You're alright." At that moment, Gwen and Ianto entered the room. Gwen immediantly wanted to know what was happening, but Ianto tried to give them privacy. Leala managed to stifle her tears as she looked up. Jack knew he had to explain. Though Ianto would never show it, he was turned away, yet listening intently. The same went for Owen and Tosh, at their work stations.

"Gwen, Ianto," Being addressed, Ianto was at ease as he turned to face him, and Gwen just stood there waiting. "This is Leala, a friend of mine. She's been having some... trouble."

"I tried to kill myself." She muttered, ashamed. She could have been long gone by now, had it not have been for this strange man. Suddenly, she realized something. "Sir? I never even got your name. Sorry for all the trouble, I guess I should go." A dark goal rested on her heart, and she would go through with it. She turned to leave.

The man grabbed her by the wrist, not too unlike before. "Leala, no." She turned to see him looking sternly at her. "Now, I know what you want to do, and I'm not going to let you. I'm the Doctor and I'm going to help you."

"The Doctor? Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?! What are you, a psychiatrist?! Well, I don't want your help! Get away from me, stay out of my life! I don't want to die, alright! I can admit that! But I really don't want to die in pain of cancer, especially alone like this. If I kill myself, at least it'll be fast!" She bolted out of the hub.

Jack stood there in shock, tears threatening to flood from his eyes. "No... no, no!" He yelled, rushing to the door. The Doctor held up a hand.

"I got her. She'll be fine, don't worry Jack. I'll bring her back here." He said quickly, running after her. The sun had finished setting, and through the streetlights, he saw the silohette of the girl, desprately trying to get away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, on to next chapter! By the way, before this episode, Jack left his team for a while to go to experience the events of the DW season 3 finale. They had a tough time without him. I'll spare you of my ramblings...**

To the Doctor's horror, he couldn't get there before she threw herself into the street, right as a semi-truck was coming. There was the sound of horns and flashing lights as he jumped out, wrapping his arms around her to take the truck's initail blow. He heard tires skid and a sickening thud. He rolled over, finding the girl unconscious, and himself quite groggy. Checking her pulse first, he sighed in relief when he felt gentle beats. Still, they were far to shallow for his liking.

He forced himself onto his knees, scooping her up, the using everything he had to stand. He was stumbling, but he could keep himself stable enough to hold Leala securely. He went through the tourist entrance of Torchwood, clumsily opening the hallway for himself, the door opening automatically.

Jack was closest to the door, so he was the first to be there, taking her off his hands and down to the autopsy bay. The Doctor slid down against a wall. "Bloody hell, what happened?! You were gone less the ten minutes!" Owen said, going over to help him.

"She should be fine..." He muttered before going unconscious himself. He may have been the Doctor, a Time Lord who saved the universe, but he had still been hit by an eighteen-wheeler.

"Ianto, help me get him to the couch." Owen said. It didn't take very long for them to have the man on the couch, with Owen preforming an examination. After a few minutes, he heard Jack call.

"Owen, she's awake!" He took up his medical supplies and went down. She had her eyes opened slightly.

"Sorry Jack..." Leala whispered. He just looked down at her softly, brushing her cheek.

"Don't you ever do that again." He said firmly. Suddenly, she shot up, breathing frantically.

"The Doctor! Is he dead?! Oh God, please, please tell me he's not dead!"

Owen put a hand on her shoulder, making her lie back down. "The Doctor's not dead, although he's in a bit more trouble then you are." He shined a light in her eyes. "You've only got a mild concussion, though it looks pretty bad for him. I can't be sure of his injuries until he wakes up, if he wakes up. Now, I need you to tell me exactly what happened, Leala."

"I-I ran into the street. There was a semi-truck coming. I was ready to die, then he jumped out. He-he must have shielded me from the blow. Damn him! Can you help him?!" Out of nowhere, she gripped at her head painfully, fists clenched.

Jack rubbed circles on her back knowingly, while Owen looked on in surprise. "This isn't normal for a mild concussion."

"You're right. But, it's normal for glioblastoma multiforme." He said darkly. Owen stared at him in disbelief.

"No... her? Hell, I'm sorry Jack."

"Don't be. It's not gonna kill her."

"But, Jack, you know what that form of cancer does..."

"It's not going to kill her." He said sternly, ending that conversation. "So, the Doctor's unconscious?"

"Yeah. It doesn't look so good for him. In fact, I need to switch their places. He needs the more advanced equipment."

"Alright," He helped Leala off the table, "But be careful with him. No asprin. And don't be too surprised with what you find." He smirked, taking Leala up the stairs while Ianto, Tosh, and Gwen all worked together to get the Doctor down.

Owen hooked him up to several machines. The heart monitior didn't seem to be working. It kept giving off four steady beats, rather then two. He decided to check the old-fashioned way, and pulled out his stethescope. Moving the end to either side of his chest, he dropped it in pure shock. "Jack... Jack? What the hell is he?" He yelled.

"Time Lord. The last of them. It's easier to show you then explain. Tosh, search under government files: 'Doctor', 'Blue box', 'Time Lord', and 'TARDIS'." She did as she was told and gasped at the results. As they all moved the the computer, Jack spoke.

"He's my Doctor, the one I tell you about sometimes. He's the reason I disappeared." The information on the screen left them all astonished. The man who lay so weakily on the autopsy table was capable of so very much. "Damn!" Jack pounded his fist on a table. "I should've gone instead! He can heal himself, but not without changing. And I am still getting used to this incarnation! If he dies... regenerates... I swear, I won't forgive him. I just hope he's strong enough to get through this without the desprate measures!" He walked over to the Doctor. "You better get through this, you hear?" He sat down in a chair next to him.

Leala stood up to go to Jack, but Owen stopped her. "Rest." He commanded, and she obeyed.

Days passed, and it was Wednesday now. The Doctor showed no improvement in condition. When he developed a pain-induced fever, Owen tried to take some sort of action. He ran tests, but was too afraid to preform treatment of any kind for fear of his limited knowledge of his physciology. He took his tempurature, and immediantly notified Jack. "Jack, his temperature is 45 degrees. He's gonna burn up! I'm gonna need some ice, Ianto!" The ice didn't do anything, and when he took his temperature later, he panicked. "Jack! He's at 55 now! Hell, I don't know what to do! Jack!"

"Owen, he'll be alright. Worse comes to worse, he still won't die." The thought of regeneration brought tears to his eyes. He followed Owen to his side, where Owen preformed another examination.

"Bolloucks-only one heart now."

"You sure?"

"Listen." He handed over the stethescope, and Jack realized he was right. What was he going to do with the Time Lord?

Owen sat down, head in hands. What was the use of him? He couldn't even save one alien. He didn't know exactly what it was, but he liked him. He didn't understand what Jack meant by "He won't die," but he hoped he was right.

The Doctor let out a breath of huon particles, and Owen scrambled backwards, falling out of his seat. "Bloody hell! What was that?!" The rest of the team had been silently watching from the top of the steps, and they all watched in amazement. A wide grin spread across Jack's face. "What's so funny about this?!" Owen asked.

"Yes! Doctor! Yes!" Jack said, relieved, sliding down against the wall, completely ignoring Owen question, just satisfied in knowing he'd be fine, with no regeneration. "He's going to be alright everyone. Back to work. Owen, can you take his tempurature one more time?"

Owen did as he was told. "37, he's perfect now. That's incredible!"

"Not perfect for him, he should be around 10-15 degrees, but at least he's out of the beyond extreme danger."

"10-15?! Hell, I wasn't panicking enough before! Why didn't we freeze him earlier?!"

"Because I knew he'd pull through. Thank you for your help Owen."

"No problem... I guess..." He slinked back to his desk, exhausted from the adrenaline and stress that resulted in a major migrane. He'd not been feeling like himself for a while now, but he knew the Doctor needed him more.**  
~~~**

**I didn't check this, so I'm sorry for any misspellings. I am lousy at typing to begin with. I'd love to hear what you think about this!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for reading this far! :)**

Leala sat with Gwen on the couch, crying. She didn't know what she wanted anymore. Tosh and Ianto were listening intently to the conversation, but Owen was in too much pain to care. He was a little nauseous too, though he'd never admit it.

'Damn...' He thought, 'I really hope this isn't what it feels like... just a migrane... please just a migrane...' He went down the the archives, hiding away in the thick air of the room. He knew it wasn't best for his health, but he couldn't let them notice. Jack wouldn't care anyway. He was busy, and all the better.

The Doctor woke about ten minutes later, perky as ever. He sat up swiftly. "Woah. That was... new. Anyway, who gave me tea? Brilliant, really." They all turned to Ianto, but he shook his head. "Was it Owen?"

"Doubt it. He doesn't do stuff like that. I don't think he even knows how to make tea." Ianto answered. It had been Owen. He'd been so worried, he didn't know what to do, so he did the only thing he could think of that would be completely harmless: He gave the sick man a cup of tea, pouring it gently down his throat.

"Where is Owen anyway? He's not at his desk..." As if on cue, they all heard a series of fitful coughs, painful to even hear. Jack bolted to the archives, finding him curled up in a ball on the floor, coughing into his hands.

Pulling them from his face, he saw his hands were spotted with blood. 'Couldn't have just been a migrane...' He thought as Jack and Ianto pulled him out of the room.

"Does anyone know how to preform a medical examination?" The Doctor sprang up, and Jack rolled his eyes. "Doctor, you nearly died half an hour ago."

"But I want to help Owen!"

"Fine, get over here." He smiled, running over and using Owen's medical suppilies.

Leala watched in surprise as he moved skillfully with the tools, knowing how to use everything properly. She then realized she shouldn't be, he was, after all, a doctor. "He'll be alright. He needs to go home, though. He's got the flu, accompanied by a bad chest infection in both lungs, he must've been feeling ill for days. Jack, how long have I been out?"

"Four days."

"Sorry about that. Healing coma, should've told Owen before I blacked out. Well, sounds about right. He must've been trying to help me, ignoring himself. I must say, Jack, you've got a keeper here. I can tell he doesn't show it much, but he cares. Anyway, someone should go home with him."

Tosh peeked her head from around the computer screen, hopeful. The Doctor winked at her. "I think she could handle it." He said, pointing to Toshiko. She tried to subdue her smile, blushing profusely.

Owen was slightly aware of his surroundings as they took him to his car. They tossed Tosh the keys, and they were gone, everyone else telling him to get well.

"Well then, now for Leala." The Doctor walked back in, seeing Leala sitting on the couch, giving up on running. She wouldn't have anyone else getting hurt, but that didn't mean she wouldn't keep trying. She didn't want to die of cancer.

"Leala-" The Doctor began.

"I am so sorry! You weren't supposed to come after me!"

"If that truck had hit you full force, you would've been killed."

"All the better." She held her firm gaze upon his. She searched into him, deep down, and found so much. She couldn't express what she saw in the man's eyes, and it shocked her, though she didn't falter in her look.

They stayed that way for a long time, until the Doctor spoke, a small smile coming on. "Leala, I want to give to something, a girt of sorts, an oppurtunity." Jack knew what he was talking about, and smiled as well.

"Whatever it is, it won't make me want to stay on this earth. I am going to die, Doctor, one way or another, so why bother?"

"Because what I'm offering you is beyong what you could ever imagine. I assume after the past four days, you know I'm an alien." She nodded. "Well, I've got a time machine that can go anywhere in time and space. So, if you'd like, I want you to come with me."

"Why would you want to take a cancerous, suicidal freak with you?"

"Just trust me on this one. I'll give you some time to think about it, since I need to go check on the TARDIS anyway. My landing was a bit rough, a few of the wires were fried, I think. Jack, tell her about it, the risks, the advantages, of your experience. I'll be back sometime before the week is up. The TARDIS needs to refuel, then I'll have to take her for a quick ride to make sure it's safe again. She might be a time machine, but it's never pinpoint accurate." Ianto and Gwen eyed him suspiciously as the Doctor walked out without saying any more.

"So, Leala," Jack said, sitting next to her."First off, I guess I should tell you, the Doctor can be trusted. I spent quite some time with the man, 'traveling' as he calls it. But it is so much more. You see things you'd never imagine, and save lives all across the universe, in all parts of time. Yes, you do see many deaths, but it is so worth it when you get the chance to look back at all the people you've saved, and how they are happy because of you and the Doctor."

"How did you meet him?" Jack smiled at her, calling for his two friends who were hiding around the corner. They shyly came out, and he reassured them. "It's alright. I want you to hear this. It's time I opened up." They came and sat on the floor by the couch.

"Alright, it was back when I was in 1941, during an air raid. I was a true conman, trying to pawn off some worthless space junk. Suddenly, I realized there was a blonde woman hanging on for her life from the rope on one of the blimps. That was Rose, the Doctor's companion..." He went on to explain of the Doctor's ninth incarnation, of the nanogenes, the Doctor's dancing skills, and of the time everybody lived. The tales of certain adventures rolled off his tounge as his eyes lit up with a passion that none of them had seen.

"Mind you, we didn't always get that lucky. It was incredibly rare that we managed to save everyone. Our adventures led up to the first time I died."

"Died? But, you're alive.."

"I'm immortal. And that was the day it started. The Daleks, an incredibly dangerous and hostile alien race, killed me. You see? Risks. I remember when the risks used to be mine, before I became so reckless. It was worth it. Even if I had died that day, I would never had regretted being with the Doctor. Rose, she absorbed this...energy. She didn't know what she was doing, it wasn't her fault. She accidentaly brought me back to life, but didn't know. Thinking I was dead, they left me there. I found him again once, that was when I disappeared. It was scary as hell out there, at the end of the world. There was an entire year that never existed... Ianto, Gwen...I-I missed you guys so much... Look, I'm sorry for leaving, but I helped save the world, doesn't that count for something?!" He said in exasperation, and Leala felt like she was intruding on something personal. Jack's eyes were full of tears, and Gwen's and Ianto's did likewise. Ianto was the first to speak.

"A year?" He said, swallowing hard.

"Yeah. The year that never was. You know, you were there, you just can't remember. Only the Doctor, a few other friends, and I remember it, because we stopped it from happening. I like it that way. It was a year of pure suffering for planet earth. Damn, the Master knew how to torture an immortal man... He said after he killed me once was that the best part was that I wouldn't stay dead, so he could kill me again..." Jack answered, more speaking to himself then to them, remembering that entire year being trapped with the Master.

"How many times?" Gwen asked hesitantly, referring to his death count.

"Not sure. At least once every day, usually twice..." Ianto jumped up, hugging him.

"I'm so sorry, Jack." Gwen whispered in shock. He had to reassure them.

"Still you guys, it was worth it. All there is to see out there, right at your fingertips. Being with the Doctor was the best choice I ever made. That's what led up to me coming here, you know. He is a blessing, though he doesn't think so. No matter how much harm he thinks he brings, he still needs someone, a companion. He is old, impossibly old, much, much older then me, and he has seen so much. So many lives lost, so many at his own hand. That's why I think he keeps someone with him. He-He can't always bear it all alone, and when something good happens, he wants someone to share it with. He is an amazing person, Leala, and I... I think you should take the chance."

Gwen and Ianto were silent, and Leala was deep in her thoughts. Jack hoped he ws telling her to do the right thing. "How old is he?" Gwen sked, somewhat sheepishly.

"Last I saw him, he was 906. Timelines can get mixed up. In this form, he must be at lest 1,500. His eyes look so much older. Yet, I could see him again, younger then he is now. That's what you never know about time travel."

"That's incredible... Jack, do you think I could take a look at those files on the Doctor?" Leala asked.

"Sure thing, Leala." They went over to Tosh's computer, and spent the night going through everything. Different records of times he'd saved the world, she thought it was wonderful. Gwen and Ianto knew that Owen would be furious if he found out that the one time Jack opened up, he was not there.

"Jack, this seems so marvelous, but, I just don't know. What if I get lost, or hurt? What happens then?"

"It's a risk all of us, the Doctor's friends, have taken. Now, listen." He took her face in his hands, dead serious. "Not everyone saunters out of the TARDIS unharmed, or even alive. You won't ever be the same again, being with that man. You are always running for your life, but in the end, it is truly wonderful. Your whole life changes."

"How do most people leave him?" Leala was nervous.

"Usually, it's their choice. They realize that it's too much for them to handle, or they find that they need a more grounded life, finding someone they love and moving on. Or sometimes, it's against their will. Rose, she never wanted to leave him. She got trapped in an alternate dimenstion. Ianto-remember the Battle of Canary Wharf? They were there, they saved the day, but Rose nearly got sucked into the Void. Her dad saved her, but she's on the list of the dead in this world. Look it up, her name's Rose Tyler. Others die, Leala, like I said."

"Travel through all of time and space... why would he want me? He could choose anyone-"

"He's very careful about who he chooses. You are nothing short of perfect Leala. Trust him." She looked at the ground, then looked up confidently.

"I am going to die soon. Might as well spend these last months doing something productive." She said, sighing. "I'll go with him. Seeing as I won't be killing myself..." Jack put a hand on her thigh reassuringly.

"Leala, he'll give you something to live for, just like he did for me. Your gonna be alright, I promise."

"Thanks, Jack."

"No problem. Gwen, Ianto, you can go home now. Thank you for staying, it's pretty late." They nodded, grabbing their things and walking towards the door. "Oh and-um..." He stopped them, and they turned towards him. "Could you not tell Owen and Tosh what you heard?Nothing against them, I just want them to see me professionally."

"Course."

"Not a word."

They both left without saying anything else, leaving Leala and Jack in the hub. "What am I going to see out there, Jack?" He thought about that for a moment, trying to find the right words.

"Terrifying, ultimate beaty, beyond human comprehension." She smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

**I really like what I'm doing to Owen. 'Cause I'm mean, at least, I don't think there's enough fanfics where he gets sick, and somewhere along it just turned into this ;)**

"Why are you so kind to me? I met you not too long ago, but you treat me like one of the family. Why?"

"It's a long, complicated story. I will always be here to take care of you, know that." She began to sob lightly, and he held her.

The next morning, Ianto was the first to arrive, followed by Gwen. Ianto passed out the coffee, making a cup of tea for Leala. From outside the door, the other two were coming.

"Owen, this is ridiculous! You can barely walk!"

"Shut up, Tosh. I can take care of myself, don't you think? I am a doctor, you know." Ianto and Gwen were surprised to see Owen walking into the hub, Tosh following, obviously worried.

Jack didn't see at first, facing the opposite direction, sitting and talking to Leala, who looked over his shoulder when Owen and Tosh had settled. "He looks like death warmed over..." Jack turned to see what she was talking about, and was annoyed by the fact that Owen was there.

"Idiot..." He mumbled. He was worried about the man's health, he did look considerably worse then yesterday, with dark circles under his red eyes, and flushed cheeks, along with his pale face.

He walked down to Owen's work station. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm working, what does it look like?" Owen snapped, which turned out to be a bad idea, his head throbbing harder.

"Go home. You look terrible." Jack said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"No. I'm fine." Leala walked down the stairs from Jack's office, taking a close up look at him.

"You look like hell." She said bluntly, not caring what he thought.

"Well that's great coming from the suicidal freak!" He yelled, his undirected anger lashed out on her. She stepped back, his words peircing her like arrows, her face in obvious shock. She ran out the door, not stopping to think. 'Even Owen knows I don't belong!' She thought in frustration.

She was going to finish it, this time for good. "Wait, no! Leala! I didn't mean- Leala!" Owen didn't wait to get up and go after her. He was considerably slower then usual, his illness pulling him down. 'Damn! I should have stayed home like Tosh said. If anything happens to her...' he thought.

He saw her leap over the edge of the dock into the water. She got herself under the dock, trying to drown herself. Owen got there a bit later, not hesistating to jump in after her. Looking around desprately, he saw her. He didn't have much time.

The fact that she was resisting didn't help either. Owen grabbed her firmly by the wrist as he could, but in his weakend state, that wasn't of much use. He did the only thing he could think of that would keep her alive, even though it would probably upset her recovering concussion. Firmly, he grabbed her by the arms and forcibly pushed her up against the wood at just the right angle that her muscles realaxed as she fell unconscious. Now, he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her out from the dock.

As he emerged from the freezing water of early Spring, he took a deep breath, his lungs burning in pain. As he recklessly threw her up over the side, he took the time to let out a few coughs that shook his ribcage before pulling himself out of the water. The rest of the team was already there, helping him. For a moment, he just curled into a ball and let the coughs shake his body thouroughly, searing pain rushing through him.

Jack took up the unconscious Leala, while Ianto rubbed circles on Owen's back, respecting him for once. Shivers ravaged his small frame, the freezing water getting to him. He used Ianto to pull himself up, determined to walk on his own.

His throat was raw, so it hurt to speak, and his chattering teeth made it worse. "She's-f-fine. I..I-I knocked h-her out...b-b-because she w-was" Another cough hacked through him. "She was s-st... struggling. I'm-I'm s-sorry J-J-Jack. My-My fault." He managed to get out, before he went into a long series of coughs, which Ianto tried to comfort him from.

"Owen, it's alright. Just relax, and we'll help you. I'll carry Leala back to the hub. Tosh, can you help Ianto get Owen against the wall comfortably over there? Gwen, take his car keys and walk back with me. It's too risky to let him walk back, so if you could drive his car here for Tosh to get him home, while I take care of her."

Owen's coughing ceased. "I'm fine now, Jack. I should take care of Leala, she might have a more severe concussion now." He was using everything in him to speak correctly.

"Don't even think about it, Owen. You're going home. I don't need you dying on me, you're worrying me as it is." Owen opened his mouth to protest, but was stopped by another bout of coughing. He was out of energy, anyways, so he wouldn't be much help at the hub, anyways.


End file.
